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#1 2008-04-29 19:30:59

necta
Member

Рецензии

Ниже приводится отрывок из судейских материалов и рецензии  Shirley Timashev (USA). Вместе с другими носителями языка она судила перевод с русского на английский.

Op – ed page
In comparing one paper to another, there were several places where translations seemed to be difficult, and I evaluated how well they did in those places.   I then gave extra points, or subtracted points, based on unexpected phrasing.

One troublesome phrase, rendered clearly in N15,  “Every [any] company can run a sweatshop in China…”  It came out in another paper as “Everyone can sweat the Chinese…”

Another phrase with great variation is this:  “They say there cannot be enough money.  But it is not quite so.” (N131)  Several said, “Money cannot be enough…”  The next phrase was “No they do can” in one paper, and “These things happen” in another.

Much of the meaning of the piece is contained in the last sentence.  As phrased by N131, “Who knows, maybe those who speak frankly but dance awkwardly will once again be viewed as the true elite of the country.”    In another, “…maybe those who call what is white white and what is black – black will be named the new elite once again, even though their dancing style lives much to be desired and is quite sloppy.”

Let me give some examples of phrasing that earned plus marks for being better than the average:

N149 – [The] Easily available money – both money showered on employees by employers with no regard to their job performance and money borrowed from the bank…

N50 – “A working class man, however, does not move up into another social class just by being able to buy a limousine…and he knows it.”

N15 – “If oil prices do not fall dramatically…”

N52 – “…to surprise with [the] environmentally friendly high technologies…”

N191 – “It is your own real estate (it is not very important yet what kind)…”


Fiction

This piece of fiction seems to me to be very difficult to translate.  I was greatly confused when I first read, “Dogeva has one indecent board.”  Later I learned that Dogeva has an improper, or irregular border.  I read in most papers about aspens, but in the one where I usually looked for clarity, I read about asps – which to me are venomous snakes, not trees.

The startled vampires rushed from the bath house.  In one paper they were “trying to protect the most important thing…”  In another they were “covering the most hidden parts…” In another “my future colleagues try to shelter their dearest from the besoms.”  The most descriptive phrase for me was where they used tubs to protect “from brooms the most secret parts of their body.”

The essence of the piece seems to be the difference between casting a spell, which is easy for a young witch to do, and sharing thoughts.  The narrator says that in forty minutes she did more thinking than in all of her previous eighteen years.  It leaves us to wonder about ourselves, if thinking and sharing thoughts is as easy as we usually believe.

In summary, I think that the participants did good work with very difficult material. 

                    Sincerely,

                    Shirley Timashev

Last edited by necta (2008-04-29 19:32:20)

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